How to survive a bout of en-bloc fever
Friday, March 17, 2006
HAVE you been feeling under the weather lately? Have you been having trouble sleeping because you keep dreaming of sheep jumping over your head while bleating, ‘one million, two million . . . ‘? Do you drive past old condos chanting to yourself, ‘80:20, 80:20′? Not to worry. You’re not alone. You’re just suffering from a modern-day malady called en-bloc fever.
En-bloc fever is an epidemic that occurs every property cycle. It starts with some fairly innocuous symptoms. One of them could be a slight case of light-headedness brought on by the appearance of a property agent from a leading realtor at your door, brandishing leaflets with the words ‘How to be an En-Bloc Millionaire’. Such light-headedness can easily escalate into feelings of false optimism as visions of flying first class and being personally greeted at Hermes dance in your head.
Such light-headedness can continue temporarily, especially during early meetings with your still-friendly neighbours who are equally afflicted and hence too busy with their personal visions to remember that they had yelled at you for dripping water on their laundry just the other day.
This light-headedness will soon give way to varying levels of migraine. This usually happens when it is time to decide how to apportion the expected proceeds of the en-bloc sale. This may or may not be accompanied by slight diarrhoea or stomach upset caused by the questionable quality of the fishballs and other snacks available during such meetings. Note that the quality of the snacks may improve or decline depending on the chances of the en-bloc’s success.
Depending on whether you are for or against the en-bloc, you may find yourself seeing your neighbours in a very different light. Some of you may experience a vague paranoia that your neighbours are whispering nasty things about you behind your back, while you wonder if the sudden death of your pet cat was due to a bad tin of tuna or someone who didn’t like your suggestion that you will not sign unless you get an extra $50K.
If you’re not careful (or reasonable), the migraine could lead to arrogant and hostile behaviour - and not necessarily on your part. You will only notice this when you wake up one morning to find scratches on your car. In severe cases of paranoia, you will spend sleepless nights wondering which neighbour is going to trick you out of your fair share of the proceeds, or which side of your car is going to be scratched next.
Other symptoms could also include feelings of claustrophobia, especially when word of your possible en-bloc sale gets around and relatives you did not know existed suddenly show great interest in your well-being. You may also experience some pangs of guilt as you wonder why these same relatives, seemingly in good health themselves, suddenly need money for immediate medical care.
So how do you treat the symptoms of en-bloc fever? The oft-recommended treatment is to let the fever run its course. Unfortunately, in some cases, it can last a few years. But not to worry. Eventually you will return to your old self again. But the risk of a relapse is there, especially when you hear of another en-bloc sale in your neighbourhood - where the owners got a lot more than you did.
Source : Business Times - 17 Mar 2006